"Irrationally full of equilibrium"
- Eve Shaffer
"God of Tact, Style, and Personal Attention" - Eliot Bergson
"He has clue." - Bruce Markey
Although best known for his academy award winning films, Brian Kendig is also known for his recent address at the United Nations and his fourth quarter touchdown pass in last January's Superbowl.
Dr. Kendig has published extensively on quantum mechanical electromagnetic relativity theories, and his best selling romance novel has been translated into twelve languages. For the past three years his original Broadway musical has played to standing room only crowds.
Professor Kendig's negotiations helped in the formation of the Iraqi Interim Governing Council, and he was the first to apply Markov-chain models to global circulation, resulting in vastly more accurate climatic predictions. His Nobel prize acceptance speech emphasized the unity of all mankind; his competition at Wimbledon demonstrated his great sportsmanship; his recent discoveries in alpha-site keratanose shows great promise for reducing certain tumors; his appearance on American Idol landed him a seven-year record contract. He has uncovered a terrorist cell, starred in three widely acclaimed television dramas, testified at numerous congressional hearings, and personally received a birthday card from Mickey Mouse. His face is engraved on the coins of several Asian countries.
When not teaching science to underprivileged inner city children, Senator Kendig can be found playing ten simultaneous chess matches or squeezing lumps of bituminous coal into diamonds.